3 Reasons For A Sibling Estrangement

Communication gaps with parents also affect siblings’ interpersonal relationships!

The cause of sibling conflict is deeply hidden. Disagreements or huffs between siblings are easily eliminated in childhood but not in youth. In many cases, the differences between siblings can be seen from an early age, the remainder of which lasts a lifetime. When researching the causes of sibling conflict, psychologists often find that the effects of unresolved emotional distress in childhood also impact adult bonding. Often when parents compare one child to another or give special importance to one child, siblings develop a competitive mentality between themselves, they become jealous of each other. If children are not taught generosity and empathy from an early age, they will grow up to be selfish. In addition, the lack of understanding and healthy relationships between family members, including parents, has a negative effect on the child’s subconscious mind, creating a distant relationship between siblings.

Is Sibling Estrangement Increasing At Present?

Children have become more lonely since childhood when the idea of ​​joint family was broken. Since in a nuclear family both parents are employed, in most cases children are deprived of the full attention of the parents. After the parents return from the office, when the children can finally be close to them, if there are more than one child, that time is also divided between the two. From here, things get trickier, and this is where the true meaning of burning up bad psychic imprints comes into play. This feeling of loneliness or insecurity has not been created in children in the past due to the large number of joint family members.  As time goes by the social system is turning up to be more complicated. People nowadays have become more and more selfish and materialistic. Feelings of entitlement are increasingly prevalent today, resulting in disruption of normal relationships, distance and emotional trauma since childhood. Experts say that out of multiple factors, three factors are mainly responsible for sibling estrangement.

Dysfunctional Family:

Children who are subjected to abusive and sensitive behavior suppress all their emotions. Lack of adequate affection, tenderness, warmth and love from parents or other family members in childhood hurts children deeply. Children who grow up in such an environment may not be able to properly express their feelings in later life and may experience emotional barriers. In a nuclear family, children often do not realize the high expectations of their parents. Sometimes, over-competitive parents beat, harass and abuse their children because of low scores or falling behind in sports. The effects of these play a major role in shaping the personality of children in adulthood. A child growing up in such a dysfunctional family loses the natural tenderness of mind and acquires a negative personality. As a result, he/she fails to maintain any relationship in later life. 

Parental Discrimination:

Typically , when there are more than one child, the parents tend to favor one child over the other. As a result, the child who is being given more importance begins to feel superior to the rest of the siblings and the other siblings develop a hostile and violent attitude towards that child. In our country, favoritism of parents is in many cases based on gender. Where male children receive gender based privileges from family members. As a result, not only does the relationship between siblings deteriorate, but the sexually-privileged child grows up to be an authoritarian, sexist, and arrogant misogynist.

Individual Differences:

Growing up with equal culture, equal education and equal values, there is no guarantee that the personality of two children of the same family will be equal.  It is normal for siblings in the same family to change, especially with age. Suppose one sibling feels inspired by the biography of Abraham Lincoln, another by the biography of Donald Trump, one likes to watch Salman Khan movies, another likes to watch Manoj Vajpayee movies, one believes that God is the only hope to end all worldly suffering, and the other is the ultimate materialist. In this case, it is not uncommon for conflicts to arise between them due to differences in personality.

Debapriya Chakraborty

Author is an aspiring creative writer, food-buff and bookworm. Loves to travel, bunks in lesser known bnbs and loves her chai more than anything else. She adds her two cents to every idea and has been a scriber for more than a decade now!
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