In a world where rapid advancements are transforming each phase of human life and society, motherhood for all single mothers continues to be a challenge with many underlying unsupportive attitudes and burdening thoughts.
Single mothers often struggle with social comments and thoughts about sustaining and living life. Women that are single mothers with no real help continue to receive socio-economic challenges while parenting and balancing personal life. Stereotypes against single mothers have become a “limit the belief” thing that goes all the way up by changing their own positive perception towards life and decision. Let’s introspect on some of the widely observed stereotypes that keep a single mother broke, alone and distant from a healthy parenting action.
"She may end up being lonely forever with no one to share my feelings with."
Single mothers often get to hear a lot about why they are not seeking a man that would help them to share their parenting activities. Well, single mothers also get such thoughts and become anxious over it that ends up feeding negative vibes in them. Most of all, weak thoughts on not being able to do the parenting right must not be entertained or answered at all. You must not limit your beliefs by thinking that you won't get a respectful partner ever and thoughts like that…instead, acknowledge your own courage in raising your child right and feel positive about the future as well.
“I should not hesitate on spending extra on my kids."
Spending always excess on purchases of your kid’s favourites while carrying a thought like “since I’m a single mother, I should not hesitate to spend extra on my kids” isn’t a smart financial move. Financial responsibilities come with a greater reminder when you are a single parent and have plans for your kid. You should be a little extra considerate on planning financial aspects instead of losing your credit balance to be future-ready.
"I must struggle all by myself since I'm have made a decision of being a single mother."
Thoughts like "you should struggle because it was your decision to be a single mom" are nothing less than self-blaming. Thoughts on self-blaming, especially when it comes to haunting and creating doubts about your decision to be a single mom, should not be the case. You should wear the decision as a cape and ignore all such society made comments that come to put you down. Start reminding yourself about your courageous decision on raising a kid when even others find it hard to do the simplest task.
“If I don’t want a partner, does that mean I’m intentionally depriving my child of fatherly affection ?”
No one can ignore the role of both the mother and a father in a child's life, which is the source of all the happiness and trust for every kid. A child desires to have that friendly bond with a father just as much as he/she yearns for the affection and care from a mother. However, one must not feel compelled to question the role of a single mother and search for a partner to share parenting just by thinking, "I'm intentionally depriving my child of fatherly affection". If you are in doubt, you should talk to your child and consult a counsellor instead of making hasty decisions.
“Being a single mom is so hard."
Yes.! Being a single mother is definitely hard, but so is the whole concept of "parenting" as well since it is weaved with multiple layers of meanings entailing responsibilities and making the right decisions. If thoughts like "being a single mother must be so tough" are eating up your soul, you should start taking things lightly, especially when you have already stepped into the world of "single parenting". Once you start taking things lightly and respecting your decision of continuing as a single mom, a sense of pride and peace will pour in and strengthen your love over your decision.
Being a single mother is definitely one of the toughest jobs yet the most blissful of all. Stereotypes like these often become hurdles over the joyous side of life. Therefore, we must not let such limiting thoughts self blame our decisions rather consider parenting as a noble task of all.
