Are you looking for a soulmate? Here is why you shouldn’t

You should understand that there are no perfect readymade relations. You have to work on them.

Do you believe in soulmates? Do you believe that there is someone somewhere tailor-made just for you? Most of us believe it because that is what love stories and sappy dramas of love have taught us to believe. But is it true? Then where would growth in relationships come from? Think about it logically, if you are searching for someone who understands you completely, makes a place for them in your life without altering anything, doesn’t change you, and it becomes a perfect half of you literally. Wouldn’t that be like searching for unicorns? Because in the real world, that is not how you progress and mature in your relationship. There are no perfect relationships; you have to build one.

The Downside of searching for the soulmate

Relationship specialist Raymond Knee has categorized people with two belief systems, destiny belief and growth belief. People who believe in destiny and there is a person out there who is meant for them are “destiny believers”,and people who go into a relationship assuming that they would have to understand other person and then grow in a relationship are “growth believers”. Now, generally, destiny believers are a bit more rigid in their relationship, are not open to change and flexibility, whereas growth believer grows with the challenges and change with the situation and circumstances to suit the relationship.

No, growth believershave not arranged matches; they do fall in love.

What we are trying to establish here is that liking a person and falling in love with someone special is not the end of the relationship. The euphoria of the “first love” or early days to love cannot be self-sustaining. Relationships and love don’t remain the same. Early love can be solidified on the basis of honest conversations and flexibility. The early days of love are full of ambiguity and self-doubt, and destiny believers always turn a blind eye towards the important bonding actors in the early stages of relationships which can turn disastrous.

Again, we are not telling you to settle for anything less

Here we would like to point again that we in nowhere are suggesting that you force a relationship on yourself or another person. It is vital that you meet and seek someone who is on a parallel wavelength as you; you can be yourself around them.

Don’t wait for divine interventions; grow with the relationship.

Priyadarshini Kaul

Priyadarshini Kaul Mishra has two Master’s Degrees in English Literature and History. She is actively following her passion for the language by being a content creator since many years now. Besides this, Priyadarshini is a true bookworm at heart and tries to be an avid reader despite being a full-time mother now. She is also a professionally certified baker and puts on the oven mitts every now and then.
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