Life Style

How to get to really know someone over text

Get past the “Hi. How are you?” part of friendship with these tips.

Unlike meeting someone in person where you can tell a lot by the way they talk and their body language, getting to know someone over text will leave words open for interpretation. Even worse is when you can’t seem to get past the basic hellos and goodbyes and “Text you tomorrow”.

Really wanting to get to know someone over text? Here’s a few ways you could do that.

Learn about their personality

If you are interested in being friends with this person or looking for potential partnership, learn about how they are as a person. Imagine being a super-fast texter and them being a one-text-per-hour kind of person, then you spamming texts wont be helpful. If you are looking for partnership, see if their personality matches yours.

Ask for their opinion

If you find something difficult to figure out – like which scary movie to watch, ask them. Light and breezy topics. Asking for their opinion make them feel valued and important.

Ask about their favourite food

You could probably send them a snap of your super cheesy pizza that you’re having and ask them about their favourite food. Or what they are getting for dinner. It is light and you can tell a lot a person by their food habits.

Don’t treat it like an interview

Asking questions is fine but don’t keep spamming their inbox with questions. It gives a feeling like they are in an interview.

Avoid leaving them on read

Leaving someone on read negatively effects a budding relationship. If you’re too busy to reply, it’s better to keep the message unopened. Or a short message like “Yeah, I hate that too” or “I am a bit caught up atm. Will text you after I sort this out” will put things on pause. It shows you respect their time.

Share your problems

Feel like you need a helping hand with a problem at work? Like how to deal with a smelly colleague? Tell them about it. They might give valuable solution or at the least empathize with your problem.

Avoid deflecting when things get too serious

Stop deflecting when they are sharing something. Like sending a hilarious GIF or meme when they share something embarrassing. While some might laugh at it and it might lighten the mood, others might think you’re not taking them seriously.

Avoid texting too late at night

Night calls means booty calls and that is not how to build a budding relationship. At least not in the beginning of it. Tread that water lightly.


As a pursuing scholar, Sanjukta lives her days reading research papers and lifestyle articles. When she is not pursuing academics, being a noob at video games keep her busy. She believes in equality and a healthy mind over anything else. She doesn't mind having a day-old pizza as breakfast. A hardcore caffeine head.
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