How to Stop Being a Yes Man and Learn to Say No
It’s easier to say yes to please others, but it is harmful to your mental well-being. Let us learn a few ways to say no to people.
Do you often get caught in a situation where you feel too nervous about declining someone? You don’t want to sound impolite and feel trapped in a situation where saying no seems impossible. The question is, why is it so difficult to refuse someone even if that is against your will. The reason behind it is psychological. Human beings have an urge to get approval from others in their social group. A people-pleasing attitude is inherent in all of us as we are scared of rejection. A person is programmed to worry about the fear of disappointing others. Instead, you are required to make everyone happy.
In a world where you are often taken for granted for being nice to others, being overburdened with guilt and nervousness of refusing someone is not wise. It wouldn’t make you less self-worthy. You need to place your happiness over other’s pleasure and understand that it is practically impossible for a person to make everyone happy. If you feel that you too need help in this regard, let’s see some golden rules to put your foot down firmly and effectively.
Say it loud and clear: Sometimes, people need to listen to a direct refusal rather than beating around the bush. If you don’t want to do something, instead of saying in a diplomatic manner like –“I am a little tied up to help.” Say it straight and sternly. If you leave a room for an opening for the other person, he/she might urge you again. And remember, you don’t have to explain yourself every time.
Learning where to draw a line: People often base their relationship on emotions without understanding the boundaries to be set. You need to limit the expectations. When people realize the dynamics of relationships, there are lesser misunderstanding and explanations.
Keep a check on your emotions: If someone doesn’t value your happiness and force you out of your comfort zone, that person doesn’t require your attention and respect either. It is better to stand firm on your ground rather than feeling bad about it. You cannot thrive in a toxic relationship. Learn to walk away if it is necessary.
Don’t fall for manipulations: The world around you knows your weakness and often employs tactics to trick you into doing something against your will. For instance: Your manager asks you to do pro-bono work. If you fall into his trap, there is no way out. It’s better to excuse yourself from such demands firmly.
Allow yourself some freedom by taking control of yourself by saying no.