Did you know that there is an official term called ‘philophobia’ and it refers to the fear of falling in love?
Falling in love demands vulnerability; if you want to establish a genuine connection with someone, you must be open to new experiences. At the same time, being vulnerable increases the chances of getting hurt. Fearing rejection is not unusual—especially if you have had your heart broken before. In addition, the crippling fear of rejection and heartbreak can compel you to do self-destructive things.
Have you ever tried evaluating what factors are preventing you from finding love again? If it is the shuddering thought of heartbreak or rejection from your past—gnawing you from the inside? It is time to recognize those signs and eliminate them. If you identify these six signs below—you secretly fear falling in love. Being acquainted with the symptoms can help you find a remedy.
Not sharing your feelings is the most common sign that suggests you are not opening up due to the fear of experiencing hurt again. When you develop feelings for someone, you have to confess it—or they will never know. However, the confession will put you in a vulnerable position—and you may be subjected to the possibility of facing rejection. The fear and grief of rejection in love are not unusual—but allowing it to determine your actions can eliminate your chances of finding true love.
If you often find yourself abruptly quitting a relationship when it starts progressing—it might be due to your fear that stems from your past experiences. You likely use it as a defense mechanism to protect yourself, but it is just a technique of self-sabotage.
Let’s say, they put their arms around you for the first time, and you fight the strong urge to run away. They ask you to meet their friends, and you turn them down by making an excuse. You have to understand that it is essential to knock down the walls that guard you, to let your potential lover into your life, allowing them to love you the right way.
While you may have healed your wounds and developed a more enriching relationship with someone new, it is not unusual for traumatizing memories from your past to resurface and haunt you.
If a former romantic relationship has eroded your ability to trust others, you may face immense difficulty in trusting new people again. You might suspect your new lover to be unauthentic about their feelings for you, compelling you to get distant.
You might have taken things forward and started dating or meeting new people. Yet, you are too afraid of moving to the next level, and to avoid that, you actively look for flaws in your potential partner—even compare them to your former lover, and come up with ridiculous reasons to never see them again. You have to let go of your fear and embrace love.
If you like someone, you have to express it verbally, or they might never find out. You may consider dropping “subtle” hints—but not everyone can pick them in time. Unless you are being direct, they might assume you are not interested. Do not hesitate to ask them what they feel about you. However, if you have sworn to never “make the first move”—chances are—you are renouncing your control over your romantic life.
It is important to be self-sufficient. However, hyper-independence is often viewed as a defense mechanism that people employ to protect themselves from being emotionally vulnerable. Relying only on yourself implies—you are avoiding the perceived threat of sharing your feelings with another person and likely getting hurt.
If you had a bad relationship in your past, you may be reluctant to rely on others, owing to the fear of disappointment and abandonment. At the same time, you must understand that not everyone you meet will hurt you. Some people can make your life more fulfilling—but first—you have to let them in.
If you want to find a healthy, loving relationship in the future, you have to eliminate these negative behaviors, face your fears, and give love a chance.
