Letting someone down after the first date: Dos and donts

Saying no to a second date without being a jerk

You meet up with your Tinder date. Halfway through the date you realize there’s little to no chemistry. By the end of the date, you realize this will be the first and last date with this person. Your date doesn’t get the memo and they are already hinting on “doing this again sometime”.

It has happened to us. Sometimes you don’t want another date with this person. Maybe perhaps you and your date has different expectations, or they are not what you are looking for right now, or whatever the reason might be, it is always wise to be honest with your date if you don’t want to see them again.

Now, sending a rejection text might not come easy for everyone and you might also feel. Reactions ranging from “I feel no chemistry between us. Good luck out there” to “Lets never do that again” there are some dos and donts while letting someone down after the first date. You could be direct and honest without being mean ad rip the bandage off right away.

Here are some dos and donts while letting someone down after the first date.

It’s rude to ghost

You don’t intend to see them again but ghosting is not a way to handle it. Leaving them hanging is the worst kind of dating behavior. Even though most people understand what ghosting means, it is rude and sort of disrespectful.

You are better than leading them on

Also, don’t lead them on. If they ask you for a second date and you continue texting them even though you have intention you are keeping teir expectations alive. You’re better than that.

Do keep it short

Craft a short message why you don’t think you should see each other again. Like “I had a fun time but I didn’t feel the chemistry. Good luck out there” can work wonder.

Do be prepared for their reaction

Not everyone takes rejection well. If they gaslight you or make rude comments about you, feel free to block them. You don’t need to reply to their reactive messages and you just move on.

You don’t need to overly explain yourself

Giving them a reason is enough. Don’t fall into the guilt trip and lay out reasons why you are letting them down. But do talk about it if they ask about it nicely. There’s no harm in that.

Be open to agreeing to second dates

Of course if somehow you feel like you could eventually like this person with more interaction, be free to agreeing to a second date.

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