Yelling at kids loses effectiveness over time and often leads to a power struggle. Children who get yelled at by their parents regularly tend to tune out.
Every parent yells at their children at some point in time or another. However, yelling becomes a habit for some parents. Several studies have suggested that yelling is one of the eight discipline strategies that can worsen the behaviour problems of your child. Yelling at your kids can lead to a downward spiral—instigating worse behaviour from your child's end as a result of more yelling. Check out some proven ways to discipline your little ones without yelling at them.
Give your kids "the look."
Instead of saying "No" or yelling at your kids, try deploying a stern look. In some cultures, parents just wrinkle their noses to convey "No" or to restrict small children from doing something. Try making "the look" by widening your eyes open, or try the squinty eye look, or even a blink will do. This trick of negotiating with the nose and eyes is highly effective.
Provide positive reinforcement
You can motivate your kids to follow the rules by employing positive reinforcement. If you have laid down negative consequences for not abiding by the rules, also remember to offer positive consequences for going by the rules. Give your little ones plenty of positive attention to minimize their attention-seeking behaviours.
Examine the reasons behind yelling
When you find yourself yelling at your kids, try to examine the cause of such a reaction. If you are yelling out of anger, you must learn strategies to tone it down and calm yourself. Try the self-timeout strategy to gather your thoughts and wait until you are calm to discipline your child.
Try the practice of giving effective instructions to your child without raising your voice.
Be clear about consequences ahead of time.
Explain to your children the negative consequences of not following the rules ahead of time. Take away their privileges, use time-out, or logical consequences to letting your kids learn from a behavioural slip-up. For instance, you could say: "If you don't finish your homework before dinner, you can't watch TV at night." This is the most effective strategy for your child to make good choices.
Put your children to work.
When your child commits a mistake or misbehaves, switch from being angry to being productive. Instead of losing your temper, put them to work. Ask your child to get the broom to clean the mess they have created. This approach teaches children the real-life consequences of their behaviour without having to yell at them.
Follow the tips above to avoid yelling at your child, as that might make them more defiant, and that's the last thing you would want.
