Having an emotionally unavailable partner who never truly understands the other person is heartbreaking. Finding the early signs of emotional unavailability might help in saving the relationship.
Yet, identifying distinct signs of emotional unavailability is tricky. Especially when we are "truly in love," we tend to overlook all negative qualities of the other one in a dire hope to make the most of the good things and accept them as they are.
Being emotionally unavailable doesn't mean that they don't have "feelings" for you or they aren't interested in being with you. It simply translates to a lack of emotional intimacy, avoidance of deeper conversation, excuses to avoid emotional responsibility, and more.
Hides away from vulnerable moments
Opening up to another person is not easy. It depends upon the individual to decide when to open up. With an emotionally unavailable partner, it can be months and years and you'd still feel that they aren't willing to show their vulnerable side, diving away from an authentic conversation about how they feel and unaware of the need for this "real connection."
Not recognizing affectionate gestures
You have waited for the whole week to pick up a few groceries and make a dish that your partner likes, or planning a date with activities that your partner enjoys. Your partner may see the efforts but never truly acknowledges or appreciate the affectionate gesture behind it.
Makes fun of emotions
It can be a particular scene in a movie or a clip shared by your friend, your partner always mocks emotions and believes that sentiments are "silly and teenage" predicaments. Even when it comes to a conversation where you are conveying your feelings, they most certainly don't understand it. If any of the scenarios sound familiar, there's a chance that your partner has been conditioned to suppress emotions to an extent where the display of vulnerability seems unnecessary to them.
Tells you not to feel a certain way
Ever happened when you are feeling something strong and your partner has discarded the whole ordeal stating, "you shouldn't feel that way." Even in their genuine effort to help, they may miss the signs of your emotional vulnerability and choose to dilute the intensity by telling you how to feel better.
Unable to describe what they truly feel
You don't expect them to write five-page long poems but without expressing how they feel, you can't build a real emotional bond. Maya Angelou said,
"When people show you who they are, believe them." If talking to them feels like you are always trying to break the wall from the outside without any effort of taking bricks out from the inside, there's a chance that it is the lack of emotional availability that is causing this.
