The thing about toxic friendship is you can’t really tell it is indeed a toxic friendship. It is sometimes quite subtle. We love being friends with that person so much that we are blind to the red flags.
Not all friends are made qual. Not everyone will have the same energy or same vibes. But when you feel especially drained out after a brunch session or dread spending a 1 on 1 time with them, this calls for an introspection into the friendship.
Toxic friendships, just like a toxic romantic relationship, emotionally and mentally drains you more than supporting you. It is especially apparent when friends cause self-doubt or drain you more than anything. Now it is common for friendships to go through its ups and downs, but when a friendship seems to affect you negatively, it is perhaps time to distance yourself from them.
The signs of a toxic friendship is subtle but not hard to find if you look closely. Here are the signs you are in a toxic friendship.
You don’t like yourself when you are with them
Toxicity spreads. If they being out behavior in you that you hate, chances are this friendship is not healthy. You might act a different way around them and that’s a sign as well.
You know they are gossip-y
A little gossip catch up with your bestie is not a bad thing. But if bad mouth every single person all the time, chances are they are bad mouthing you to someone else as well. For them, your mess-ups Is a juicy gossip for them.
They try to change you
There’s a difference if your friend speaking out of genuine concern to help you. They make you second guess your decisions, criticize you all the time and always make you follow their advice to change your individuality.
You make excuses for their behavior
Constantly finding yourself explaining your friend’s behavior to other people? That might be because your friend is toxic.
You feel drained after spending time with them
If you feel relieved when they cancel plans, it because you do not like spending time with them. You get relieved because you don’t have to put up with their gossips, drama, or their criticism of you.
Everything is always about them
Your conversations with them generally revolve around them needing help with a project or needing a word of advice. They need to be the center of conversation. Your life and your problems are only meted with a half-hearted enthusiasm.
