Some Common Signs That Indicate Your Partner is Violating Your Boundaries: Tips to Handle Boundary Busters

The task of setting boundaries is never easy, but when the people you love disrespect them, it feels frustrating.

Healthy boundaries are an indispensable part of every relationship. They help elucidate what things are acceptable in a relationship and what is not and offer both partners comfort and security. But sometimes boundaries are violated, causing discomfort and harm. It is essential to identify when and how your partner is violating your boundaries and what measures you can take to cope with it.

They have controlling behavior.

Controlling behavior often involves curbing a person’s freedom, making decisions on their behalf, or determining their actions. The outcome of controlling behavior is often oppressive, and it induces feelings of anxiousness, fear, and an absence of autonomy.

Invasion of privacy

Privacy breach typically refers to accessing someone’s private space, things, or information without their knowledge or consent. It may involve reading your text messages, emails, going through their computer or phone, or even entering your home without your knowledge or permission.

Emotional abuse

Emotional abuse may range from exhibiting controlling behavior to manipulation of your emotions through gaslighting, playing mind games, and verbal insults. The impact of emotional abuse is devastating — it may cause feelings of insecurity, worthlessness, and confusion.

Tip 1: Carefully set your boundaries and maintain them

Before setting your boundaries, be very clear about your limits. It is essential to consider what is important to you. Boundaries offer shelter to our core values associated with how we want to live our lives. They also offer protection against any potential emotional or physical harm.

Tip 2: Speak up for yourself!

Be very clear when communicating your boundaries to people, especially to those who violate them repeatedly. Do not use words like, “I am not sure,” or “maybe” because it may reflect uncertainty. Boundary violators will not respect your boundaries if they are not afraid. Be kind with your words but stay rigid in your communication with boundary busters.

Tip 3: Advocate your needs and fight for them

You will have to push yourself further to advocate your needs. If the boundary violations in your life are not paying attention, or are gaslighting you even after you have communicated your boundaries and emotional needs, you have to take immediate action to remedy that problem. When they disrespect your boundaries, communicate with them clearly, and if it still doesn’t work, you should avoid or sever ties with them. 

If your partner is not respectful toward your boundaries, it implies they don’t respect or value you. You have to put in the effort to do what is best for you.

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