It is a curious process, the work we put in towards achieving a goal and then comes the all dreaded arrival fallacy!

But how do we deal with it?

The secret here is simple, notice how the process that we follow while working towards our own respective goals gets us into the speed of achievement which is a major way for us to make ourselves feel good. This kind of approach becomes very handy in triggering the various reward centres in our brains.

Once we have done setting a goal, we can continue on thinking all about that very goal, from all the different directions, until we are done achieving it. And, it's not always short term goals. These kinds of things will take days, and weeks and months, if not years. And the longer we hold such goals in our minds, the greater the obsession becomes towards it. We start to fantasise more and more about outcome. We put on layers of thought formulating how reaching our goals will transform our lives and how it will be different than the situation that we are currently in, which of course seems less than satisfactory momentarily when we have our Ideal goals in mind.

The goal now starts symbolising an elusive state of perfection which can only be attained in dreams. This elusive perfection makes it unsatisfactory when we actually achieve our goals. Such an ambitious height, in terms of achievement, becomes not only challenging but sets unreal expectations in our minds. Plus, this entire cumbersome process slowly grows to become a toxic part of our identity. It becomes an obsession for us and we gradually become altogether hooked into the outcome of such aspired bliss.

This is the very seed that comes up and tortures the celebs of the tinsel town. According to Dr. Ben-Shahar such arrival fallacy is at the core of most of the Hollywood stars suffering and struggling with their mental health.

Initially when we ignore our innate unhappiness we try to find external validations to fulfil the emptiness we feel inside. Goals can provide us such external validation and we strive towards that moment of achievement thinking once we reach their we will finally be able to smile, we and be happy. And then the irony strikes, and we reach our goals. For a short period it does feel absolutely blissful but those feelings never last. But before you achieved your goal, you at least have a direction and hope that you will one day be happy. But the very moment you reach your goal, the arrival fallacy pounces on your psyche, and now you don't even have the prior hope. All you feel is emptiness!