What unrealistic expectations in relationships look like

How the relationship is vs how the relationship should be

Having expectations from relationships is not a big deal. It absolutely fair to have certain expectations from a partner and a notion of how you want to be treated in a relationship. Expectations from a relationship help in planning for the longevity of the relationship and how things will be in the future.

However, there should be certain level headedness when it comes to asking your partner to give what you want. Consider this: if you want your partner to shimmer down his meetups with his close friends just because you don’t feel like spending your Friday alone, that’s not fair, just and even unrealistic. It’s easy to turn your little expectations into something that your partner feels the pressure to succumb to it. What your relationship really is can be different from what your relationship should be. For a healthy functioning relationship, having realistic expectations is important.

Here are what common unrealistic expectations look like.

Partner has to look attractive all the time

Oh, get a mirror for yourself if you really think a person should always look attractive. After a long day at work, long hours doing labor, fighting traffic won’t keep them looking fine as fire and expecting them to look the best is unhealthy and unrealistic.

Free time should be spent with each other

Expecting your partner to leave their friends and family to spend all their free time with them is not right. Wanting your partner to spend all day, all weekend, every free time with you is setting yourself up for disappointment as they …you know have a life of their own.

Expecting your partner should never argue with you

Argument will happen in relationship. Your partner has a mind and opinion of their own and expecting them to agree to you to avoid an argument is immature and childish.

They should always apologize first

No, just don’t. Expecting your partner to say sorry, despite the nature of the argument is not right. Instead try to start a conversation towards a resolution.

Your partner should plan date nights always

Another unrealistic expectation. Wanting your partner to take initiative for romantic dates always is unrealistic. Sure, you want your partner to put in effort but effort works both ways in a relationship.

Expecting them to have no friends of the opposite gender

Jealousy is a part of a relationship. But so is trust and security. Instead of thinking your partner will be unfaithful and trying to stop him from having platonic friendships with people, try to be friends with your partner’s friends to attain sense of security.


As a pursuing scholar, Sanjukta lives her days reading research papers and lifestyle articles. When she is not pursuing academics, being a noob at video games keep her busy. She believes in equality and a healthy mind over anything else. She doesn't mind having a day-old pizza as breakfast. A hardcore caffeine head.
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